Can it be true that there are relationships that begin and end based on the dollar. I was on facebook a the last couple of days posting responses to questions surrounding relationships and money. As the questions came I noticed that no one addressed the underlying issue of relationships, money and trust. I would give a disclaimer however I’m gonna speak the truth and I hope it helps somebody.
It takes a lot to trust a fiance or spouse with what we commonly call our money. Especially more for those who haven’t grasped the concept of two becoming one when you get married. Nothing is excluded and that includes your paycheck, your rental property, your stocks, bonds, 401k and the biggest of all, your debt. Some of us grew up with momma keeping a stash of loot in cash of am emergency. And justified it by saying its because your crazy daddy don’t know how to manage money. In reality, it further develops an environment of disdain and distrust that has reared its ugly head in the next generation. If one can’t manage the finances is not a reason to leave them out of the process. We all learned because someone involved us in the process.
How does that come into play with your fiance or spouse? You should meet them where they are and bring them up, lovingly. It builds trust and transparency with regards to finances. The number one reason that people don’t want to have joint accounts is because they haven’t learned that money doesn’t change people. A lack of or an abundance of money magnifies the true character of a person. Don’t believe me? Survey your last 5 dates or relationships and you’ll see who is about the money and who is about you. You may also find out that you are all about the money!
If you are engaged, that is the perfect time to open the financial floodgates and see who you are dealing with. After you’re married it will be considerably more of a challenge to come to terms on financial expectations and standards. At the end of the day, being more open to discussing finances and getting on the same may not be popular topics to discuss while dating. Your friends and family members may look at you crazy when you tell them that you brought up finances on a second or third date. Know that you’re not crazy. You’re the better for doing so because there is no romance without what? Finance.